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-Mary Wortley Montagu
-Mary Wortley Montagu
First......get a new cover, because this one is not great. Second, invest in an editor to review your work so it doesn't read so choppy and isn't full of mistakes. Also, put a little more thought into your actual plot.
Some of the stuff didn't make sense, as when she's playing chess with an opponent and he's working hard to get her to go for a drink (apparently before finishing the match), to which she responds, "Listen, dating isn't really my thing." Yet, not seven pages earlier, she's picking up her phone to check out a match that pinged at her. Then, even though it's apparent she's had a "date" (technically) and sex with this guy, her friends keep telling her to go on a date with him because she hasn't been on a date in a year :-/ . Granted, she didn't accept the match that pinged at her earlier in the read, but just being a part of a dating service would somehow counter her protest about going for a drink. Also, the sex scenes were way too rushed and juvenile. Also, if a woman were to actually tell a guy "no" and he jumped her like that, she could cry rape. Instead, she goes from being this reticent chess player who "just got out of a relationship" to a raving nymphomaniac, all within the span of a page. Just when it seemed as if the story might get going, the author abruptly stops. Literally ends it. I get that this is maybe supposed to be a short story (?), but really?
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