"Your Move" by Viola Trivette

★★

First...

​...get a new cover, because this one is not great.

​Second, invest in an editor to review your work so it doesn't read so choppy and isn't full of mistakes. Also, put a little more thought into your actual plot.

​Some of the stuff didn't make sense, as when she's playing chess with an opponent and he's working hard to get her to go for a drink (apparently before finishing the match), to which she responds, "Listen, dating isn't really my thing." Yet, not seven pages earlier, she's picking up her phone to check out a match that pinged at her. Then, even though it's apparent she's had a "date" (technically) and sex with this guy, her friends keep telling her to go on a date with him because she hasn't been on a date in a year :-/ . Granted, she didn't accept the match that pinged at her earlier in the read, but just being a part of a dating service would somehow counter her protest about going for a drink.

Also, the sex scenes were way too rushed and juvenile. Also, if a woman were to actually tell a guy "no" and he jumped her like that, she could cry rape. Instead, she goes from being this reticent chess player who "just got out of a relationship" to a raving nymphomaniac, all within the span of a page.

​Just when it seemed as if the story might get going, the author abruptly stops. Literally ends it. I get that this is maybe supposed to be a short story (?), but really?