The story wasn't terrible.
The plot was great, but the constant missing comma made sentences run together when there should have been a pause for breath. It made me, the reader, have to go back many times to re-read something because what should have made sense was lost in the missing punctuation. And commas weren't the only errors. There were other errors in punctuation also. That will ruin an otherwise perfectly decent read. If it had been an occasional error, I wouldn't have mentioned it, but it was continual throughout the entire book. Here's a very brief example (written as in the book):
"...Even with a Regent it takes years to sort out the mess that comes with the death of an Emperor even if the line of succession is unquestionable." The Kings sky blue eyes locked onto the eyes of Elvin Adept for a second and he appeared to be listening to something that only he could hear....
In that one brief segment, there are missing commas, capitals that shouldn't be, missing apostrophes. Again, if this wasn't the case throughout the entire book, I would not have mentioned it.
What little dialogue there was was decent, and the plot was unique and well done. Overall, the story has potential to be a five-star book if the author will simply consider having an editor do some revisions.
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