'The First Fallen: Book of Sorrows'

★★

I Wasn't Certain...

...how to put everything down succinctly about this book because there are just way too many issues that need addressing before this can be a book worth reading. Where to start?

​First, punctuation: either missing or misused. Examples:
     "Dana sat down at the provided desk powered up her laptop..."
     " How the Vatican or, even the rest of..."
​     "He had to enjoy every moment they were together. Because sometimes weeks..."

Incomplete thoughts:
     "But the events described in the documents were ancient, far more ancient." [than what?]

Strange and/or rushed text:
     Dana "emails" sensitive documents to her brother for him to keep "the documents safely hidden", so is her brother supposed to print these documents to hide them? They certainly can't be kept safe on his computer.

Also, at the end of chapter one, Dana encounters what I suppose are bad guys; however, the author's writing leaves too much in question. Here's the text as written. My thoughts are in brackets:
      "Dana searched through her purse for her phone when a stranger abruptly stepped out of the shadows in front of her. Startled [missing comma] she made to walk around the man, a mixture of anxiety and fear taking hold of her actions [what actions? You'll see she performs NO actions whatsoever]. "Hello Dana," spoke the figure in a deep baritone voice, "so nice to finally meet you." She began to scream [um...why? All he did was say 'hello'] when a gloved hand closed over her mouth. The man looked over her shoulder and acknowledged somebody behind her. [unneeded text since someone putting a hand over her mouth suggests another party]. "Stay still," whispered a voice next to her [this was just dumb. First, the dialogue is ridiculous. Second, what woman would obey that command? No squirming or fighting to get free?] She felt something cold and hard strike the back of her skull. [Just stop! Seriously? So...we're to believe that he tells her to be still, so she complies so that he can remove his hand, step back, and then conk her on the head?] Okay...I'll move on.

​There were times when the author couldn't quite provide an explanation or comeback for his own character's dialogue so it ended up being absurd, as when the priest expresses his disbelief that the scrolls could be found so easily after being hid away so long. The response doesn't even address the concern, rather just says (paraphrasing) "we were given the task and the knowledge. The church didn't have the resources for an extended search before." [So, how did you find them so easily?].
​
I could go on, but my notes took up two full pages. Poor mechanics, ridiculous dialogue, incomplete/rushed plot and/or absurd scenarios...all make this book a tedious read.