First, I've got to get this off my chest. Why, oh why, do authors think that writing out sound effects is a good thing for the reader? Screeech, Clink, Grind, Clack, Groan...really? We don't need this. A well-written novel will supply sufficient detail for us to envision those sounds without the added visual aid.
Second, the writing was good with the exception of a wrong word used now and again and jumping tenses. That can really mess with the flow of a story. Third, while the story was engaging, there was simply too much jumping around with little character development to for the reader to grasp precisely what was going on.
The premise was interesting though and with a bit of polishing, this could be a superb read.
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