It wasn't a badly written book, but right off the bat, I struggled with some of the elements. For instance, the dialogue. While not horrible (thank goodness), it did lean toward the not believable. For instance, if you read this--
"He's a good man. Why would they do this to a good man?"
--what age would you think the speaker to be? About whom would she be speaking? For me, I thought it was about an acquaintance and the speaker was in their twenties, at the youngest. Wrong. It was a 10-year-old girl speaking about her father. If this had any sort of realism, the daughter would either be too distraught to speak or might say, "Mommy, why is daddy being hurt like that?" This happened frequently with the dialogue, which took a decent read with potential, and knocked it down a bit.
Another issue with the writing is the tense jumping. First, the writer speaks in first person then jumps to third. The story does flow okay despite this, for the most part, but at times I stumbled over what should have been a fluid read. Most of it is written in the first person, which 1) is not easy to maintain and 2) can create a weird, detached vibe for the reader. Example, the author writes this:
The guard is about to scream out of panic and swing his musket at her. But Maggie is quick enough with the bottle and sprays the guard right in the face. He breathes in the fluid and it stings his eyes (choppy too).
Overall, the book has potential, but the overall writing needs a bit of work.
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