Some Unexpected Moments
Not a bad horror read. I wish I could have felt more chills running along my spine, but it didn't quite grab me enough for that.
The work was well-written, but when a person tries too hard to construct an intelligent-sounding sentence, the reader has a difficult time wading through the thick mire of prose. The writing should be natural, creating a flow that carries the reader along easily. If the reader has to work too hard to grasp meanings...you get the idea.
Also, why do authors try so hard to "write" dialogue. Dialogue should flow as naturally as the story, but more times than not it comes off sounding contrived. When this happens, the reader finds it difficult to empathize with a character because the character feels unreal. If characters feel unreal then we don't feel for them. I didn't.
Lastly, for this and other writers: Eyes can't move. They are firmly attached to their sockets. A "gaze" can do all sorts of things: wander, narrow, stare..."Her eyes moved nearer the hen house and the dark shadows..." (Chap 9, pg. 146). If her eyes had truly done this, it would have seriously been horrifying.
I did appreciate the unexpected moments.